A soft story for the child who wanted to breathe
This isn’t a guide or a step-by-step.
It’s just… a story.
A life experience to ponder.
See what it stirs in you.
Table Of Contents
When Love Starts to Cost You Pieces of Yourself
Once upon a time, there was a vending machine shaped like a heart.
At first glance, it looked magical. Soft, glowing, full of warmth. People would walk by and feel drawn in — especially the kind-hearted ones. The givers. The ones who believed love should be shared freely.
One day, someone came along with a charming smile and a pocketful of tokens. They pressed a glowing button labeled “Praise” — and sure enough, a glimmering stream of compliments poured out.
The giver smiled. It felt nice. It felt seen. So they gave again — their time, their energy, their care. And every time they did, the other person pressed another button.
“Attention.”
“Validation.”
“Control.”
Each click was subtle at first. Harmless. Sweet, even. But slowly, the heart-machine started to dim. The glow softened. The tokens stopped feeling like gifts and started to feel like tolls.
And still — the smiling figure pressed on.
If This Is You…
You’re not imagining it.
If you’ve ever felt drained in a relationship where your love, your kindness, your you was never enough —
You might know what it’s like to be someone’s vending machine.
-
Where praise only came when they needed something.
-
Where attention was earned by walking on eggshells.
-
Where guilt was the currency used to keep you giving.
-
Where the more you offered, the less you were seen.
You may have started to believe that maybe if you just gave more — they’d stop taking.
But they didn’t.
And that glow you used to have?
You barely recognize it anymore.
🧠 Going Deeper: When “We” Erases “Me”
In psychological terms, narcissistic supply refers to the emotional fuel a narcissist draws from the people around them — attention, admiration, reactions, and control — all to uphold a carefully constructed, fragile sense of self.
But let’s say it plainly:
It’s the energy they extract to feel real.
And they don’t generate that energy from within — they siphon it from you.
They crave:
-
Praise – to affirm their superiority
-
Attention – to stay the center of every room
-
Validation – to feel “right” at all times
-
Control – to dictate your emotions and decisions
-
Guilt – to keep you apologizing, shrinking, or staying
-
Sympathy – to play the victim and win loyalty or defense
They’re not in relationship with you — they’re in relationship with the benefits of being near you.
“Narcissists are like addicts who constantly seek supply for their fragile egos. Having little inner strength to draw upon, they need you to feed them with ingredients to make them feel significant.”
— Dr. Les Carter
This isn’t always loud or cruel. It can be quiet — charming, even. But behind the smile is a hunger, a dependency on external reinforcement that never ends.
And if you stop providing it?
They escalate. They punish. Or they disappear.
Not because you were unworthy — but because you were no longer a source.
“In their willingness to exploit you for narcissistic supply, the narcissist was wishing to imprison you.”
— Dr. Les Carter
It’s not love. It’s not partnership.
It’s a transaction you never consented to — until you woke up to it.
🌿 Returning to Wholeness: A Soul-Level Shift
To heal from being used as someone’s supply, you don’t need to become harder.
You need to become whole.
The narcissist needed you to be fragmented — to believe their approval made you real, that your worth was up for negotiation, that love was something to earn.
But your healing begins with remembrance:
You were never made to be a vending machine.
You are not here to pour endlessly.
You are not here to be performed for, mined, or managed.
You are here to be.
“The only way someone can consume you is if you forget you are not what they see — you are what is.”
— Sadhguru
The narcissist cannot recognize what is — only what feeds them. But you are not here to live in reflection. You are here to live in presence.
So how do you break free?
Here are a few soul-grounding practices to begin reclaiming your energy and your self:
-
Name the game – Narcissistic supply is not love. Naming it breaks the illusion.
-
Reclaim your gaze – What you focus on, you give power to. Turn it back inward. Let your gaze rest on you.
-
Establish sacred space – Create physical and energetic distance. Silence isn’t punishment — it’s protection.
-
Choose self-devotion – Return your energy to the practices that make you feel most alive. Prayer. Movement. Stillness.
-
Forgive yourself – Not for loving — but for forgetting that love does not mean losing yourself.
“You don’t need closure from someone who used you as supply.
You need awakening — and a return to your own center.”
— Dr. Nicole LePera, The Holistic Psychologist
There is no version of this where you give enough to finally be seen.
The only way forward is inward.
And when you return to your center, the taking stops.
Not because they changed — but because you did.
💛 If You’re Ready to Begin Again…
You are not fuel. You are not supply. You are soul.
If any part of this post stirred something inside —
A memory. A truth. A recognition…
Then take a breath.
Because that’s where it starts.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not “difficult” or “too much.”
You are someone who woke up to imbalance — and chose not to go back to sleep.
You don’t need to give more.
You don’t need to prove your worth.
You only need to remember who you were before someone convinced you to forget.
And it begins here:
With clarity. With courage. With you.
📚 Recommended Reading:
-
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents – Lindsay C. Gibson
-
Power vs. Force – Dr. David R. Hawkins
-
Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
-
The Emotionally Absent Mother – Jasmin Lee Cori
And it begins here:
With clarity.
With courage.
With you.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
✨ If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to know they’re not alone.
💬 Tell us your story or reflections in the comments below — your voice matters here.
🎧 And don’t forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Files for more healing stories, quiet awakenings, and powerful truths that help you rise.
📚 Explore our recommended reading list on Amazon — curated books that speak to emotional healing, boundaries, and clarity after narcissistic abuse.
📝 Start your healing journey with our daily journaling notebooks — available in both paperback and printable PDF formats.
🎓 Take the next step with our self-paced online courses, where you can explore topics like gaslighting, self-worth, and emotional freedom in a deeper, guided way.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Wishing you peace, growth, and all the best,
~ The Gaslight Files Team
